3,530 miles traveled, 589 bad jokes told, 102 bathroom stops, 34 times to fill up the truck, 17 stops for food, 2 wild and crazy dudes on a cross country road trip, priceless!!! Yes, MasterCard stold my saying, thief's.
We wake up in Bristol, Virginia which is home to this big nascar race track. There is all theses welcome race fans signs. I don't get nascar, think about it. You watch cars drive supper fast and go in circles. Man, that's called my typical day of driving seriously ask Brian. Brian on multiple times has told me he hates my driving.
We leave Bristol and on the road again. Today we know we are going to make it to Baltimore. You know how when you are super close to getting to a place and lets say the last thirty minutes takes the longest that's how the day went. Don't get me wrong I was doing my usually driving while Brian was doing his usually head in his hands saying I'm not going to look I'm not going to look. Virginia is pretty but we want to get there. I would like to come back and stay awhile. They have all these civil war battle grounds and have George C. Marshall museum.
To tell you the truth I did not take pictures many pictures today. We took pictures in front of the West Virgina, and Maryland signs. I took a couple of pictures of the Shenandoah river and the Potanic.
We get to Brian's mentors home and it is in very historic part of Baltimore. The home was built in the turn of the 20 century, its very nice. Both her and Fred are very nice and feed us a great meal.
As I am about to sign off I must take these last moments to reflect. Favorite part of the trip, Moab. Favorite state, Oklahoma. Favorite food, barbecue. I will say this after traveling in different continents, I must say I do regret not seeing this great land of ours first. Good night and Good luck. God Bless America and have mercy on her.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Day 7
We wake up in Jackson, Tennessee and Brian asks if I had remembered to write about the cowboy in Oklahoma in Day 6's blog. I had forgotten completely about Cowboy, so let me forgot take you back. We were in the Pigs Trough and there were cowboys everywhere. I thought that was weird--I didn't know there were many cowboys in Oklahoma. While we're eating, this one table of cowboys gets up to pay. Brian looks over, then quickly tells me to look. Ok, we all know that Wrangler’s are supposed to be tight, right? Well, this cowboy’s Wranglers were so tight, he had a lethal wedgie up his crack. Brian was drooling; I had to throw a glass of water on him just so he'd stop staring.
We leave Jackson and it’s about 85 with humidity of 75; I love this type of weather. I start driving towards Nashville. So I think I need to discuss something with all of my millions of blog readers. You know how they call the south the Bible Belt? Well, I've decided I need to rename it. The Bible, Porn, and Firework Belt is way more fitting. Seriously, since east of Oklahoma City there is a sign every mile that has something to do with all three. First up: Jesus. Then a mile later, an adult shop sign, and a mile after that is the fire works sign. And so on and so on.
Driving down I40 I have been noticing these monsterous spider webs on the trees. I am not joking when I say that some of them completely cover half of the trees. They were really quite interesting. Outside of Nashville we decide to eat at the Loveless Café. This place was in my food book. It’s packed, so Brian gets us a on the wait list. An hour and twenty minutes go by before Brian says he doesn’t want to wait anymore. Just then the ringer goes off and we get seated. I think they rang the wrong pager for us earlier but didn't say anything.
Brian and I both order the fried chicken. I have mac and cheese with caramel sweet potatoes. Brian gets the mashed potatoes and creamed corn. All the food is made from scratch. The mac and cheese is the creamiest, most melt-in-your-mouth I've ever had. Brian and I both agree that we have had better fried chicken. The thing this place is most well-known for is its biscuits and homemade preserves. They were definitely good.
Brian takes over driving and we're on the road again. Brian and I are listening to the radio; "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright, to be more exact. We look at each other romantically and start singing along. I want everybody to know that we sounded better then the Temptations, Four Tops and Elvis combined. Hello fame, money and then later on VH1 Behind The Scenes where we talk about how the group split because of my nose candy addiction. Then we will reunite on Oprah 30 years later and start back on the road.
So we pull into Bristol, Virginia and decide to stay at the Holiday Inn. The reason we stay here is because they give me government discount. We go and it at Logan's Steak House. Like usual, it was good. I had catfish and shrimp, Brian just had shrimp. Now everyone knows that when I eat, I like to get into it. Brian is always amazed (grossed out? Jill's addition) at how fast I can eat and comments on it every time. I will finish my meal and my dessert while Brian's only halfway through his. What can I say, except that when you’re a poor child growing up and you only get fed one meal a day, you cram as much as you can in! This is probably the second to the last night of our trip across the county, and my blog. I am telling you this to prepare yourselves. We hit the 3000 mile mark today. Good night and Good luck.
We leave Jackson and it’s about 85 with humidity of 75; I love this type of weather. I start driving towards Nashville. So I think I need to discuss something with all of my millions of blog readers. You know how they call the south the Bible Belt? Well, I've decided I need to rename it. The Bible, Porn, and Firework Belt is way more fitting. Seriously, since east of Oklahoma City there is a sign every mile that has something to do with all three. First up: Jesus. Then a mile later, an adult shop sign, and a mile after that is the fire works sign. And so on and so on.
Driving down I40 I have been noticing these monsterous spider webs on the trees. I am not joking when I say that some of them completely cover half of the trees. They were really quite interesting. Outside of Nashville we decide to eat at the Loveless Café. This place was in my food book. It’s packed, so Brian gets us a on the wait list. An hour and twenty minutes go by before Brian says he doesn’t want to wait anymore. Just then the ringer goes off and we get seated. I think they rang the wrong pager for us earlier but didn't say anything.
Brian and I both order the fried chicken. I have mac and cheese with caramel sweet potatoes. Brian gets the mashed potatoes and creamed corn. All the food is made from scratch. The mac and cheese is the creamiest, most melt-in-your-mouth I've ever had. Brian and I both agree that we have had better fried chicken. The thing this place is most well-known for is its biscuits and homemade preserves. They were definitely good.
Brian takes over driving and we're on the road again. Brian and I are listening to the radio; "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright, to be more exact. We look at each other romantically and start singing along. I want everybody to know that we sounded better then the Temptations, Four Tops and Elvis combined. Hello fame, money and then later on VH1 Behind The Scenes where we talk about how the group split because of my nose candy addiction. Then we will reunite on Oprah 30 years later and start back on the road.
So we pull into Bristol, Virginia and decide to stay at the Holiday Inn. The reason we stay here is because they give me government discount. We go and it at Logan's Steak House. Like usual, it was good. I had catfish and shrimp, Brian just had shrimp. Now everyone knows that when I eat, I like to get into it. Brian is always amazed (grossed out? Jill's addition) at how fast I can eat and comments on it every time. I will finish my meal and my dessert while Brian's only halfway through his. What can I say, except that when you’re a poor child growing up and you only get fed one meal a day, you cram as much as you can in! This is probably the second to the last night of our trip across the county, and my blog. I am telling you this to prepare yourselves. We hit the 3000 mile mark today. Good night and Good luck.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Day 6
The morning starts off with a knock on our hotel door, then someone calling out, "house keeping!" as the door start to open up. That would've been fine, but were still asleep. Brian yells back, "no, don’t come in". So they don't.
We get showered (one at a time) and look out the window to see that it's raining in FT. Smith, Arkansas. Thank goodness Brian thought buy a tarp. There’s this running joke between me and him about the tarp. About half way to Baker City I asked if he got a tarp incase it rains, and he said no. We check out of the hotel and get on the road.
We weren’t able to get a picture of a Welcome to Arkansas sign on the way in so we decide to backtrack about five miles so we can get one. I grabbed a free paper from the hotel and while we stopped to get gas, I read the front page. It announces, “Bill fix allows infants to wed”. Only in Arkansas. I am so glad my mom is from here. We're on I40 so you don’t really get to see a lot of the country but what I do see makes me think, “squeal like a pig.”
We make it to Little Rock and stop to eat. At this point Brian has come to the dark side. All he can think about is eating barbeque. I am personally taking over the world one rib at a time. We can’t find a BBQ joint close enough so we decide to eat at Sonics. It’s alright, but nothing special. Sonics is this drive up joint. Some guy in the vehicle next to us appears to be having a seizure before I realize he is just grooving to the music. We make plans to switch drivers at this town close to the border of Tennessee. Brian and I get into this discussion about war and when it is appropriate to kill someone. So naturally, we totally miss the exit and the next thing I see is a sign reading, Welcome to Tennessee. We get into Memphis and go looking for Corky’s BBQ. I read about it in my food book about America. Because Brian and I don’t agree on when people should go to war, we decide to grab spoons and joust. The first one to bleed loses. The only problem here is that we grabbed plastic spoons and they promptly broke.
We can’t find the exit to Corky’s so I just decide to take the next exit we come upon. How can I say this without offending people? I drove us into the ghetto. So we drive fast and make it out, just barely alive. We find the correct street and then find Corky’s. Amazing, great, the best, spectacular, and that is just how I look as I walk in. Now let’s talk about the food. Dave, pack the misses and go on a road trip through the south for its food! Brian had the rib plate and I had the rib and pulled-pork plate. The meat on the ribs slide off the bone like a sweaty fat kid on a water slide. The pulled pork was tender. Our only problem was that we were eating this fantastic meal at about 4:30, whereas we usually eat lunch around 1:30. Ok, let me rephrase that. The only problem for Brian was the short time period between meals. When Brian got done, I thought he was going to show everybody in that restaurant what Oregon puke looks like, he was in so much pain. He looked like he had not been able to poop for five or six days. I also had a piece of pecan pie. The best I have ever had.
Brian takes over driving and we start out of Memphis and get into this summer lightning and thunder storm. It is really pouring down. It rains so heavy at times that Brian can barely see to drive. Jill, you would have loved it, it was like the storms in Jamaica.
We get into Jackson, Tennessee and decide to stay at the Holiday Inn. As were unloading the vehicle, this black lady starts flirting with Brian. She walks over and starts talking about the wedding going on inside the hotel. The funny thing though, is that she is completely loaded and wobbling back and forth. Maybe this is how Brian snagged Charo. He probably got her drunk and now consistently keeps her drunk. I could tell Brian likes this drunk lady and wants to flex for her. I could also tell Brian was about to bust out a couple push ups for her. I grab him and basically have to drag him into the hotel. You're welcome, Charo. Off to bed, good night and good luck.
We get showered (one at a time) and look out the window to see that it's raining in FT. Smith, Arkansas. Thank goodness Brian thought buy a tarp. There’s this running joke between me and him about the tarp. About half way to Baker City I asked if he got a tarp incase it rains, and he said no. We check out of the hotel and get on the road.
We weren’t able to get a picture of a Welcome to Arkansas sign on the way in so we decide to backtrack about five miles so we can get one. I grabbed a free paper from the hotel and while we stopped to get gas, I read the front page. It announces, “Bill fix allows infants to wed”. Only in Arkansas. I am so glad my mom is from here. We're on I40 so you don’t really get to see a lot of the country but what I do see makes me think, “squeal like a pig.”
We make it to Little Rock and stop to eat. At this point Brian has come to the dark side. All he can think about is eating barbeque. I am personally taking over the world one rib at a time. We can’t find a BBQ joint close enough so we decide to eat at Sonics. It’s alright, but nothing special. Sonics is this drive up joint. Some guy in the vehicle next to us appears to be having a seizure before I realize he is just grooving to the music. We make plans to switch drivers at this town close to the border of Tennessee. Brian and I get into this discussion about war and when it is appropriate to kill someone. So naturally, we totally miss the exit and the next thing I see is a sign reading, Welcome to Tennessee. We get into Memphis and go looking for Corky’s BBQ. I read about it in my food book about America. Because Brian and I don’t agree on when people should go to war, we decide to grab spoons and joust. The first one to bleed loses. The only problem here is that we grabbed plastic spoons and they promptly broke.
We can’t find the exit to Corky’s so I just decide to take the next exit we come upon. How can I say this without offending people? I drove us into the ghetto. So we drive fast and make it out, just barely alive. We find the correct street and then find Corky’s. Amazing, great, the best, spectacular, and that is just how I look as I walk in. Now let’s talk about the food. Dave, pack the misses and go on a road trip through the south for its food! Brian had the rib plate and I had the rib and pulled-pork plate. The meat on the ribs slide off the bone like a sweaty fat kid on a water slide. The pulled pork was tender. Our only problem was that we were eating this fantastic meal at about 4:30, whereas we usually eat lunch around 1:30. Ok, let me rephrase that. The only problem for Brian was the short time period between meals. When Brian got done, I thought he was going to show everybody in that restaurant what Oregon puke looks like, he was in so much pain. He looked like he had not been able to poop for five or six days. I also had a piece of pecan pie. The best I have ever had.
Brian takes over driving and we start out of Memphis and get into this summer lightning and thunder storm. It is really pouring down. It rains so heavy at times that Brian can barely see to drive. Jill, you would have loved it, it was like the storms in Jamaica.
We get into Jackson, Tennessee and decide to stay at the Holiday Inn. As were unloading the vehicle, this black lady starts flirting with Brian. She walks over and starts talking about the wedding going on inside the hotel. The funny thing though, is that she is completely loaded and wobbling back and forth. Maybe this is how Brian snagged Charo. He probably got her drunk and now consistently keeps her drunk. I could tell Brian likes this drunk lady and wants to flex for her. I could also tell Brian was about to bust out a couple push ups for her. I grab him and basically have to drag him into the hotel. You're welcome, Charo. Off to bed, good night and good luck.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Day 5
We wake up in Amarillo and I’m still enjoying my Texas barbeque from last night but I don’t think Brian is. Last night we didn’t get to bed until 12. We were wondering why we weren’t tired. Brian with his master’s degree and I with my bachelor’s degree didn’t realize we were in central time zone, which is two hours ahead. I think this proves that as long as you pay out a lot of money, any two idiots can get degrees from major universities.
We check out of the hotel and see there is a continental breakfast I had a banana and strawberries with orange juice. Listen, my blood is starting to cement from all the fried food so I at least need to thin it out. Brian has fruit and potatoes. It wasn’t free; for both of those meals it cost thirteen dollars.
I start out driving because like I said last night, I drive in the mornings. Brian looks over and says its time to shake which I respond to with bake: Shake and Bake. We get about thirty miles past Amarillo and the scenery starts to change to rolling hills and trees. I see this sign that says the "west biggest cross". Ten miles later we see this cross that has to be about sixty feet tall. Twenty miles past that, out of my rearview mirror I see red and white lights. It was a Great State of Texas trooper. I look down and I am going about 77; the speed limit is 70. He approaches the window. Now I work a lot with OSP troopers and they have a script drilled into them about how they talk to speeders. This Texas trooper states that he is a trooper. Oh really? I couldn’t tell by the car, uniform, gun, night stick and the badge that reads "trooper". He starts talking all laid back and calling me "boy" and stuff like that. He takes my license and goes back to the car. Earlier yesterday, Brian stated he was surprised that we haven’t got a ticket yet throughout this whole trip. Thanks Brian. So the trooper walks back with his paper and says "I am only going to give you a warning”. How do you like those apples, Jill? You all thought I was going to get a ticket. Let me tell you something: when you’re this gangsta, cops know better than to mess with you. WORD to my dead homies.
I take off and Brian says "if that was me, I would have gotten a ticket". We see the sign for Oklahoma and pull over so we can take our picture in front of it. Now I want you to sing this part starting now. Oklahoma O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, where the men are men and the sheep run scared. Stop singing. No seriously--stop singing.
We pull off into Elk City, Oklahoma. This is somewhere I could see myself living. We stop and look at the Route 66 National Museum; it was alright. I ask the lady where some good barbeque is and she recommends the Hogs Trough. We walk in and I know I am going to like it. Hello, Oklahoma barbeque. Its lunch and Brian orders this brisket and smoked sausage sandwich with onion rings. I bypass the lunch and go straight for the dinner meals. More food, duh. I order the rib dinner and it comes with fried okra, onion rings, Texas toast and pickles. We both ordered the sweet tea. I am at the point right now in which I pretty much want to rub this food all over my body, because its just not fair that only my mouth gets to taste it. Oh, and by the way, I ordered a piece of pecan pie. Brian looks at me in disbelief and just laughs.
We leave Elk City and Brian takes over driving. We pull into Oklahoma City and decide to go see the Oklahoma City Memorial. This is a very humbling experience. Whoever designed the memorial did an absolutely fabulous job. There are two black Walls you enter through: one at each end. One of them says 9:01 and the other says 9:03, which is when the bombs went off. There is this reflecting pool in the middle of them and off to one side are the chairs representing the dead. We look around awhile longer and then leave.
Guess what, because I have been able to read the signs correctly so far, Brian says I can start that back up, but only on probation. Yeah boy, I finally got my thug radio station and now I can slide low in my seat and rock my head. Brian tries to follow but he’s just a white boy.
Past Oklahoma City the region changes to more brush and trees. We drive by this large body of water and Brian asks "What's that?" My intelligent reply is "A lake". We get into Ft. Smith, Arkansas. How come we don’t pronounce Arkansas with the s? We check into the Holiday Inn and leave to go get some grub. You will never guess what kind of food we ate. Barbeque. We ate at the Rid Joint, it was good but not out of bounds like the Hog Trough. That is my saying and I coined it, so don’t be trying to steal it. Its time to get to bed.
We check out of the hotel and see there is a continental breakfast I had a banana and strawberries with orange juice. Listen, my blood is starting to cement from all the fried food so I at least need to thin it out. Brian has fruit and potatoes. It wasn’t free; for both of those meals it cost thirteen dollars.
I start out driving because like I said last night, I drive in the mornings. Brian looks over and says its time to shake which I respond to with bake: Shake and Bake. We get about thirty miles past Amarillo and the scenery starts to change to rolling hills and trees. I see this sign that says the "west biggest cross". Ten miles later we see this cross that has to be about sixty feet tall. Twenty miles past that, out of my rearview mirror I see red and white lights. It was a Great State of Texas trooper. I look down and I am going about 77; the speed limit is 70. He approaches the window. Now I work a lot with OSP troopers and they have a script drilled into them about how they talk to speeders. This Texas trooper states that he is a trooper. Oh really? I couldn’t tell by the car, uniform, gun, night stick and the badge that reads "trooper". He starts talking all laid back and calling me "boy" and stuff like that. He takes my license and goes back to the car. Earlier yesterday, Brian stated he was surprised that we haven’t got a ticket yet throughout this whole trip. Thanks Brian. So the trooper walks back with his paper and says "I am only going to give you a warning”. How do you like those apples, Jill? You all thought I was going to get a ticket. Let me tell you something: when you’re this gangsta, cops know better than to mess with you. WORD to my dead homies.
I take off and Brian says "if that was me, I would have gotten a ticket". We see the sign for Oklahoma and pull over so we can take our picture in front of it. Now I want you to sing this part starting now. Oklahoma O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, where the men are men and the sheep run scared. Stop singing. No seriously--stop singing.
We pull off into Elk City, Oklahoma. This is somewhere I could see myself living. We stop and look at the Route 66 National Museum; it was alright. I ask the lady where some good barbeque is and she recommends the Hogs Trough. We walk in and I know I am going to like it. Hello, Oklahoma barbeque. Its lunch and Brian orders this brisket and smoked sausage sandwich with onion rings. I bypass the lunch and go straight for the dinner meals. More food, duh. I order the rib dinner and it comes with fried okra, onion rings, Texas toast and pickles. We both ordered the sweet tea. I am at the point right now in which I pretty much want to rub this food all over my body, because its just not fair that only my mouth gets to taste it. Oh, and by the way, I ordered a piece of pecan pie. Brian looks at me in disbelief and just laughs.
We leave Elk City and Brian takes over driving. We pull into Oklahoma City and decide to go see the Oklahoma City Memorial. This is a very humbling experience. Whoever designed the memorial did an absolutely fabulous job. There are two black Walls you enter through: one at each end. One of them says 9:01 and the other says 9:03, which is when the bombs went off. There is this reflecting pool in the middle of them and off to one side are the chairs representing the dead. We look around awhile longer and then leave.
Guess what, because I have been able to read the signs correctly so far, Brian says I can start that back up, but only on probation. Yeah boy, I finally got my thug radio station and now I can slide low in my seat and rock my head. Brian tries to follow but he’s just a white boy.
Past Oklahoma City the region changes to more brush and trees. We drive by this large body of water and Brian asks "What's that?" My intelligent reply is "A lake". We get into Ft. Smith, Arkansas. How come we don’t pronounce Arkansas with the s? We check into the Holiday Inn and leave to go get some grub. You will never guess what kind of food we ate. Barbeque. We ate at the Rid Joint, it was good but not out of bounds like the Hog Trough. That is my saying and I coined it, so don’t be trying to steal it. Its time to get to bed.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Day 4
Its day four and I miss the woman I love. I miss her smell, her touch, her laugh and how she looks in the morning. Don’t get me wrong I am having a great time on this trip. If I had to travel across America with any guy, I am glad it is with Brian. Brian and I have the same weird sense of humor, but he just isn’t as pretty as my wife. With that said just to let you know if you read my blog, I not able to post everyday. It depends on whether we get a hotel with wi-fi.
After sleeping in the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in. We left and headed on down towards Santa Fe. So far what we have seen of NM it quit beautiful. We looked at the map and decided to take a scenic route which would put us onto hwy 126 which will take us through Santa Fe National Forest, dump us down into Los Alamos then cut over to Santa Fe. Did you know that New Mexico considers dirt roads highways? Neither did us.
It’s been pretty constant elevation of about seven thousand feet since leaving South Utah. So we turn off onto hwy 126. It’s nice paved road for about twenty miles. We’re ascending pretty much straight up to about 11,000ft. We start to descend and all the sudden we turn a corner and hit a dirt road not a gravel road but a dirt road. I’m driving because I drive in the mornings and Brian drives in the Afternoon. So I flag down a passer buyer and ask him how long on this dirt highway are we going to travel. He said about seventeen miles. If we go back then we have to travel back the twenty miles then south another eighty miles then north fifty miles to get to Santa Fe so we decide to travel the dirt highway.
Now this highway is bad there are gullies and grooves from the rainstorms. As were driving we feel as though were in a dryer bouncing all around. It’s funny because every couple miles there are these signs which say Hwy 126. You know how I told you about descending then we hit the dirt road, well that was just a ravine because here we are having to claim this road back up. It defiantly took so much longer but the scenery was amazing, there were these meadows that looked as though they could have been in that T.V. show Little House on the Prairie. We finally make it off the dirt road and by that time we are ready to get going. So I take a page out of Ricky Bobby “If you ain’t goin fast, you ain’t goin.” Do you remember in Day 2 about how I said Brian might have to start praying three hours a day because he is riding with me? I think he forgot today.
This mountain road is very windy and I a passing people and speeding. There are these stupid bicyclists on the road. Me being the nice guy I honk twice to let them know I am coming fast. Most get off to the side, but this one schmuck decides instead of going to the right he is going to drift left. He irritated me but I thought Brian was going to resurrect his Native Blood and go Sioux all up on him. We almost get to the down and Brian makes some comment about not feeling well and how my driving is making him car sick and how he really doesn’t like it. Easy Cougar.
We get into Santa Fe and look for a Mexican joint. This lady informs us of this little place called Molly which has been around about thirty years. It was as though I had died and gone to Mexican Food heaven. They deep fried this bread that puffed up. They put this green chili sauce all over your meal. It was the best Mexican food I have ever eaten. “Hey Dave your right they do like to put chili’s on everything in N.M.”
We leave Heaven and start heading down to East New Mexico the only problem is I am in Utopia after my meal and take the wrong turn. Brian has now banished me from driving, reading the map, and giving directions. We get on the right highway and then we let the horses run “yes Jill I know that was a cheesy line but I’m in the cowboy country”. N.M. speed limit is seventy-five and I’m doing eighty-five. We switch out and Brian starts driving.
East New Mexico and West Texas is flat and full of cows. I think the cowboys get lonely. So we stopped at the Welcome to Texas sign. In the proud tradition of Texas I did a six gun pose. We got into Amarillo and decide to stay at this trashy hotel called Marriot, its no Motel Six. Where are the buggers on the wall?
I asked the hotels services assistant AKA the receptionist where we could get some good barbeque at. Her response was this place down the road. Hello Texas barbeque. I had this plate of brisket, ribs, sausage, and pork. It tasted moist, sweet, spicy and good. It was like having warm butter melt in your mouth. The sides were homemade mac and cheese, onion rings, beans, cole slaw and Texas toast. Sorry Jill, my tight gluts are gone.
After sleeping in the nicest hotel I have ever stayed in. We left and headed on down towards Santa Fe. So far what we have seen of NM it quit beautiful. We looked at the map and decided to take a scenic route which would put us onto hwy 126 which will take us through Santa Fe National Forest, dump us down into Los Alamos then cut over to Santa Fe. Did you know that New Mexico considers dirt roads highways? Neither did us.
It’s been pretty constant elevation of about seven thousand feet since leaving South Utah. So we turn off onto hwy 126. It’s nice paved road for about twenty miles. We’re ascending pretty much straight up to about 11,000ft. We start to descend and all the sudden we turn a corner and hit a dirt road not a gravel road but a dirt road. I’m driving because I drive in the mornings and Brian drives in the Afternoon. So I flag down a passer buyer and ask him how long on this dirt highway are we going to travel. He said about seventeen miles. If we go back then we have to travel back the twenty miles then south another eighty miles then north fifty miles to get to Santa Fe so we decide to travel the dirt highway.
Now this highway is bad there are gullies and grooves from the rainstorms. As were driving we feel as though were in a dryer bouncing all around. It’s funny because every couple miles there are these signs which say Hwy 126. You know how I told you about descending then we hit the dirt road, well that was just a ravine because here we are having to claim this road back up. It defiantly took so much longer but the scenery was amazing, there were these meadows that looked as though they could have been in that T.V. show Little House on the Prairie. We finally make it off the dirt road and by that time we are ready to get going. So I take a page out of Ricky Bobby “If you ain’t goin fast, you ain’t goin.” Do you remember in Day 2 about how I said Brian might have to start praying three hours a day because he is riding with me? I think he forgot today.
This mountain road is very windy and I a passing people and speeding. There are these stupid bicyclists on the road. Me being the nice guy I honk twice to let them know I am coming fast. Most get off to the side, but this one schmuck decides instead of going to the right he is going to drift left. He irritated me but I thought Brian was going to resurrect his Native Blood and go Sioux all up on him. We almost get to the down and Brian makes some comment about not feeling well and how my driving is making him car sick and how he really doesn’t like it. Easy Cougar.
We get into Santa Fe and look for a Mexican joint. This lady informs us of this little place called Molly which has been around about thirty years. It was as though I had died and gone to Mexican Food heaven. They deep fried this bread that puffed up. They put this green chili sauce all over your meal. It was the best Mexican food I have ever eaten. “Hey Dave your right they do like to put chili’s on everything in N.M.”
We leave Heaven and start heading down to East New Mexico the only problem is I am in Utopia after my meal and take the wrong turn. Brian has now banished me from driving, reading the map, and giving directions. We get on the right highway and then we let the horses run “yes Jill I know that was a cheesy line but I’m in the cowboy country”. N.M. speed limit is seventy-five and I’m doing eighty-five. We switch out and Brian starts driving.
East New Mexico and West Texas is flat and full of cows. I think the cowboys get lonely. So we stopped at the Welcome to Texas sign. In the proud tradition of Texas I did a six gun pose. We got into Amarillo and decide to stay at this trashy hotel called Marriot, its no Motel Six. Where are the buggers on the wall?
I asked the hotels services assistant AKA the receptionist where we could get some good barbeque at. Her response was this place down the road. Hello Texas barbeque. I had this plate of brisket, ribs, sausage, and pork. It tasted moist, sweet, spicy and good. It was like having warm butter melt in your mouth. The sides were homemade mac and cheese, onion rings, beans, cole slaw and Texas toast. Sorry Jill, my tight gluts are gone.
Day 3
There are four things I need to remind you. One, don’t forget I am a horrible speller. The American education system failed me. I wonder if I can claim disability, remind me when I get back home to check into that. Second, if you’re looking at the blog, to be able to read it from the beginning you have to start at the bottom of the page. Third, I did some glut work outs today so their still good. Fourth, I am taking pictures and hope to be able to down load them so you all know what I am talking about. Its hard because I am a computer retard.
Last night we didn’t get to sleep until about 12pm, so we sleep in till about 8:30, left the hotel about 9:30. The town of Green River is set in this high desert platau. It is very picturesic with the rock mountains in the back ground. We decide today were not going to drive as far as yesterday because we wanted to see Moab National Park. About forty miles past Green River the mountains turn to this very pretty rust color. We got into Moab and knew this was going to be a nice little detour on the trip. These rock formations come out of the ground and form breath taking scenery. Moab is known for the arches. It is were the water over time has cut out part of the rock forming these natural bridges. We spent about two hours driving around and hiking. Jill next year for our trip we are going to go to Moab and spend a couple days there while driving to the east coast “I love you, Darlin”. Oh bye the way I am a hero. Yes, yours truly is a hero. In the middle of Moab we were driving when all the sudden we passed this lady passed out on the side of the road with a couple of guys looking at her and a little girl holding an umbrella over her. I pulled of the side of the road and Brian and I walked over to her. Now remind you it is probably a hundred degrees and we are about five thousand feet up. I assess the situation and because I am always ready for anything I make this crazy suggestion to put the woman in the air conditioned SUV. Her husband states they were hiking and she is four months pregnant. So the husband and I pick up the woman and put her in the car. Brian hands her a bottle of water. I tell the husband to have her drink the water slow and take her back to volunteer center and like the wind we were gone to save someone else’s life.
Brian like a little girl was whining I’m hungry. I smacked him and told him to shut his mouth. You know he had to recognize who he was with. We ate in the town of Moab at this little hip dinner, let the eating across America begin. I had this rad bacon, mushroom, cheeseburger with deep fried mushrooms and for desert a chocolate four layer cake. Something tells me Brian is not going to like sharing a room with me tonight.
I must say driving through southern Utah I realized how beautiful it was. The landscape kept on making me say the word pretty. Brian thought I was talking to him each time I said the word pretty. He has real low self esteem.
Earlier in the day we decided to make a little side trip into four corners. Four corners is where Utah, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico meet. So we head of down the road traveling on 191. About two hours worth of driving we end up stopped by a flagger. This flagger was perhaps the ugliest man I have ever seen and let me tell you in my job I have seen a lot of ugly people. Me and Brian look at each other and start laughing. Brian then made a comment about how you can’t find anybody else that ugly. Well that’s not true because I think his brother was the flagger on the other end of the road work. He looked up and scared me so bad I think I wet myself.
Some where we forgot to make a turn, and ended up on the Navajo reservation that borders on Utah and Arizona by the time we realized it we were about hundred miles west of where we should be. Don’t worry with my Native American heritage I put my ear to the ground and figured out the right way, it doesn’t matter I was looking at the atlas at the same time. I must say the choice of music that we are listening to is fabulous nothing says were two handsome lady killers like the one and only Olivia Newton John. For some reason the only radio stations we get are these soft, wimpy, touchy feely stations. If I don’t hear something about capen fools, slinging dope and smacken females I will lose my manliness. Isn’t that what MTV, BET, and VH1 tells us what makes real men. Seriously, I am listening to a song right know called “I am going to hang the rainbow in the sky”. I feel like crying, hold me Brian.
We arrived at Four Corners. In less then ten seconds I stood in four different states. There was this huge storm that blew in and it thundered, lighting and rained. As we drove out we watched river form instantly
We end up in a hotel in Farmington, New Mexico. Not just any hotel but a Motel 6, perhaps the finest motel of all. In any other motel the walls are clean, but here next to the toilet are old buggers on the wall.
Last night we didn’t get to sleep until about 12pm, so we sleep in till about 8:30, left the hotel about 9:30. The town of Green River is set in this high desert platau. It is very picturesic with the rock mountains in the back ground. We decide today were not going to drive as far as yesterday because we wanted to see Moab National Park. About forty miles past Green River the mountains turn to this very pretty rust color. We got into Moab and knew this was going to be a nice little detour on the trip. These rock formations come out of the ground and form breath taking scenery. Moab is known for the arches. It is were the water over time has cut out part of the rock forming these natural bridges. We spent about two hours driving around and hiking. Jill next year for our trip we are going to go to Moab and spend a couple days there while driving to the east coast “I love you, Darlin”. Oh bye the way I am a hero. Yes, yours truly is a hero. In the middle of Moab we were driving when all the sudden we passed this lady passed out on the side of the road with a couple of guys looking at her and a little girl holding an umbrella over her. I pulled of the side of the road and Brian and I walked over to her. Now remind you it is probably a hundred degrees and we are about five thousand feet up. I assess the situation and because I am always ready for anything I make this crazy suggestion to put the woman in the air conditioned SUV. Her husband states they were hiking and she is four months pregnant. So the husband and I pick up the woman and put her in the car. Brian hands her a bottle of water. I tell the husband to have her drink the water slow and take her back to volunteer center and like the wind we were gone to save someone else’s life.
Brian like a little girl was whining I’m hungry. I smacked him and told him to shut his mouth. You know he had to recognize who he was with. We ate in the town of Moab at this little hip dinner, let the eating across America begin. I had this rad bacon, mushroom, cheeseburger with deep fried mushrooms and for desert a chocolate four layer cake. Something tells me Brian is not going to like sharing a room with me tonight.
I must say driving through southern Utah I realized how beautiful it was. The landscape kept on making me say the word pretty. Brian thought I was talking to him each time I said the word pretty. He has real low self esteem.
Earlier in the day we decided to make a little side trip into four corners. Four corners is where Utah, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico meet. So we head of down the road traveling on 191. About two hours worth of driving we end up stopped by a flagger. This flagger was perhaps the ugliest man I have ever seen and let me tell you in my job I have seen a lot of ugly people. Me and Brian look at each other and start laughing. Brian then made a comment about how you can’t find anybody else that ugly. Well that’s not true because I think his brother was the flagger on the other end of the road work. He looked up and scared me so bad I think I wet myself.
Some where we forgot to make a turn, and ended up on the Navajo reservation that borders on Utah and Arizona by the time we realized it we were about hundred miles west of where we should be. Don’t worry with my Native American heritage I put my ear to the ground and figured out the right way, it doesn’t matter I was looking at the atlas at the same time. I must say the choice of music that we are listening to is fabulous nothing says were two handsome lady killers like the one and only Olivia Newton John. For some reason the only radio stations we get are these soft, wimpy, touchy feely stations. If I don’t hear something about capen fools, slinging dope and smacken females I will lose my manliness. Isn’t that what MTV, BET, and VH1 tells us what makes real men. Seriously, I am listening to a song right know called “I am going to hang the rainbow in the sky”. I feel like crying, hold me Brian.
We arrived at Four Corners. In less then ten seconds I stood in four different states. There was this huge storm that blew in and it thundered, lighting and rained. As we drove out we watched river form instantly
We end up in a hotel in Farmington, New Mexico. Not just any hotel but a Motel 6, perhaps the finest motel of all. In any other motel the walls are clean, but here next to the toilet are old buggers on the wall.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Day 2
When you start the morning off with bacon and huckleberry pancakes you think it is going to be a good day. The day eventually ended well but started a little ruff. First, I slammed my finger in the front door of Brian's bio-dad's home. Don't worry, my finger is fine but the door didn't make it, that is what happens when wood comes in contact with titanium.
From there we went to this store to get a tarp in case it rains " It was my suggestion and a good one". While walking in, a little child was wobbling his way down the alley with his mother. The child stated "it was never this warm in Canada, if it had been mommy I would have never lost my feet because I didn't have any shoes in the freezing winter." Shoe tree your going down.
We finally got on the highway heading into Idaho. Half way to Ontario which is on the border of Idaho we drove past this concrete facility that looked like Mr. Burns plant on the Simpson's. Did I tell you I consider Ontario to be the arm pit of Oregon. So we got into the arm pit and Brian had to look for a cell phone charger because he forgot his. As you enter Ontario you smell this potato and onions smell. The Ore-Ida plant is there which makes those frozen breakfast potatoes.
Brian didn't find a charger so we left. You know in the last update I was going to have to pray for three extra hours in the morning because I was riding with Brian. Well I think he is going to do the same after my driving. I am gocker, I like to look at stuff as I drive. The only problem is the car goes the way I am looking. Brian pulled out the atlas and started to look and talk about which way we were going. I started to look and well the car drifted into the other lane. I don't think he would have said "How about I look at the map and you look at the road" if previously I hadn't continuosly drove off the side of the road onto those grooves that make that sound like hhmmmmmmmmmm.
I have this plan to take photos in front of every state sign, but those darn Idahoans had road construction so Brian got a somewhat photo of the Idaho state line sign. We drove into Boise which seems like a nice town. I don't know what the northern part Idaho looks like but the southern part, well lets just say we should pay Canada to take it. It's flat, ugly, flat, ugly. We stopped in Twin Falls to eat a bite. To get into this town you have to drive over this canyon. I don't like heights and I don't like driving over the bridges, So Brian had to hold my hand. We ate and then went to look at the Gorge. Once again I don't like heights.
We drove in beautiful southern Idaho for about another two hours until we reached Utah. I got my picture in front of the welcome to Utah sign. Northern Utah looks like southern Idaho so Canada can have that part to. If needs be I am willing to give money out of my own pocket for them to take it.
Utah has a lot of blond people living in it. I don't know why because I thought most Mormons were dark haired and skin, that's what I get for thinking. Salt Lake and Provo both look like pretty cities with them built up against the mountains. While in Northern Utah I got asked to get married six times. I told them I was already married, but they said that was fine. We decided to cut of the interstate and take a scenic rout through Price down to Moab National Park. Now this is a very pretty part of the country with the red mountains and high desert. If you don't believe in Creation and God is the greatest Artist of all, get in your car and drive around. If that doesn't do it lay down the crack pipe.
We got into Price and were going to check into the a hotel but some miners just down the road had to get themselves trapped in a mine so with all the TV crews, feds, and rescuers there wasn't a hotel room in town open. We got word about sixty miles south in Green River which is on the way to Moab had open hotel rooms. We called and got a room. So we have know spent oh about twelve hours in the car, what is thirteen. On the way to Green River it was pick black and in the distance it was lighting, very nice show.
From there we went to this store to get a tarp in case it rains " It was my suggestion and a good one". While walking in, a little child was wobbling his way down the alley with his mother. The child stated "it was never this warm in Canada, if it had been mommy I would have never lost my feet because I didn't have any shoes in the freezing winter." Shoe tree your going down.
We finally got on the highway heading into Idaho. Half way to Ontario which is on the border of Idaho we drove past this concrete facility that looked like Mr. Burns plant on the Simpson's. Did I tell you I consider Ontario to be the arm pit of Oregon. So we got into the arm pit and Brian had to look for a cell phone charger because he forgot his. As you enter Ontario you smell this potato and onions smell. The Ore-Ida plant is there which makes those frozen breakfast potatoes.
Brian didn't find a charger so we left. You know in the last update I was going to have to pray for three extra hours in the morning because I was riding with Brian. Well I think he is going to do the same after my driving. I am gocker, I like to look at stuff as I drive. The only problem is the car goes the way I am looking. Brian pulled out the atlas and started to look and talk about which way we were going. I started to look and well the car drifted into the other lane. I don't think he would have said "How about I look at the map and you look at the road" if previously I hadn't continuosly drove off the side of the road onto those grooves that make that sound like hhmmmmmmmmmm.
I have this plan to take photos in front of every state sign, but those darn Idahoans had road construction so Brian got a somewhat photo of the Idaho state line sign. We drove into Boise which seems like a nice town. I don't know what the northern part Idaho looks like but the southern part, well lets just say we should pay Canada to take it. It's flat, ugly, flat, ugly. We stopped in Twin Falls to eat a bite. To get into this town you have to drive over this canyon. I don't like heights and I don't like driving over the bridges, So Brian had to hold my hand. We ate and then went to look at the Gorge. Once again I don't like heights.
We drove in beautiful southern Idaho for about another two hours until we reached Utah. I got my picture in front of the welcome to Utah sign. Northern Utah looks like southern Idaho so Canada can have that part to. If needs be I am willing to give money out of my own pocket for them to take it.
Utah has a lot of blond people living in it. I don't know why because I thought most Mormons were dark haired and skin, that's what I get for thinking. Salt Lake and Provo both look like pretty cities with them built up against the mountains. While in Northern Utah I got asked to get married six times. I told them I was already married, but they said that was fine. We decided to cut of the interstate and take a scenic rout through Price down to Moab National Park. Now this is a very pretty part of the country with the red mountains and high desert. If you don't believe in Creation and God is the greatest Artist of all, get in your car and drive around. If that doesn't do it lay down the crack pipe.
We got into Price and were going to check into the a hotel but some miners just down the road had to get themselves trapped in a mine so with all the TV crews, feds, and rescuers there wasn't a hotel room in town open. We got word about sixty miles south in Green River which is on the way to Moab had open hotel rooms. We called and got a room. So we have know spent oh about twelve hours in the car, what is thirteen. On the way to Green River it was pick black and in the distance it was lighting, very nice show.
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